Ocean of Passion.

What are you passionate about?

I ask this question because it has been on my mind lately. It can be a tough question most of the time because spending time to self reflect is often limited. We get caught up in our lives that it leaves little time to look into you own mind, body and spirit.

As a dreamer, we often use many tools at our disposal to create our works. Writing, painting, music are just some examples. We take these things, bend them and mold them to our desires or needs. But the mental aspect of it is a critical tool in all of this. I often ask myself why do I do any of the things I do? What is the root or key of everything.

The answer I came up with was 'passion'.

Passion is different for everyone so I wont drone on about what it feels like and such. But we all know it when it happens. You feel it and at times it can take over your entire mind and body. Passion isn't about things you like to do or enjoy, it is about something that has meaning, love and respect. A force that you know well, like a deep love.

What do you feel passionate about?

If you had to create an ocean and fill it with anything your mind can come up with, what would you fill it with? A ocean is a vast, deep place. It is so powerful, it shapes and covers most of our planet. If you could fill it with an idea, what would it be? Imagine an ocean filled with art, writing or music. Swimming in an ocean of your own paintings would be incredible because you mind would have to come up with what you feel the most and display it so you could experience it. If you start to over think then your ocean would narrow and become shallow. Your ideas would turn into lakes and then puddles. They would lose meaning and become after thoughts. But if you could create and fill an ocean, that would be truly a passionate ideal.

I sat on the train and thought about this. What would my ocean be? What would be the water I would fill it with? What dreams could I rain from the sky and fill my being? So many ideas came rushing into my mind. Beautiful creatures and beings passed through my minds eye. For a moment on the train last night, I was at peace. I swam in my thoughts for the entire ride. When I reached my stop, I was calm. It felt good to just be calm. I walked home and everything felt beautiful. I was inspired to put this post together.

I call myself a dreamer because the world just doesn't feel complete. There is something missing and that missing piece is somewhere in my mind. I dont know If I can ever find it but I love the search. I always see this in other dreamers. People who are trying to find that piece of expression in their minds. To take an idea in their head and try to translate it into something they create. It is beautiful when you see it. When you see an artist paint, you can see it in their eyes. You can feel it when notes of a song reach your ears.

I don't want anyone to give up on their dreams. Find time to play in them. If you cannot find time, make time. You will feel better for it. I want to spend my life playing in dreams, others and my own. I want to see photographers take pictures. I want to see writers write stories. I want to feel music pulse through my being until I fall into a heap on the ground, breathing hard and sweating. I want it all to never stop. Fill your oceans and release the floodgates. May your passion become your instrument and the world your sea of canvas.

Never stop the dream.

~Julian
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Megan Green - Photographer

In one life time, you can come across so many dreamers, traveling in so many different directions, it can make your head spin. Spinning was what my head was doing for a solid week because the plague had taken hold of my senses and I was out of commission.

As to my first point, I met Megan Green, a fellow dreamer, a long time ago at a party far far away. I know there are many people out there that will pick up a camera and say "I am a photographer!", Megan is not one of those people. In the initial parties, I remember seeing her work and thinking it was pretty damn special. She has an eye for detail and her work reflects that. Below are some of my favorites from her website.







The one thing I admire about Megan is she does it because she loves it. That in it's self makes it very special.

*Fills two glasses of red wine, raise's them up.

This is for you Megan. Enjoy your art and never stop dreaming.

~Julian
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The Spark of Dreams

I dislike Valentines Day. We don't need a holiday to tell us when and how to be romantic. I rather be romantic on my own time and when that wonderful mood strikes. The passion can take over and you will bring forth your feelings with reckless abandonment.

NovaBelle and I decided we would not follow the worlds rules. We instead decided to buy each other monster movies as your romantic gift for the weekend. NovaBelle gave me The Host and I gave her Zombie Land. I think this is about as romantic as one can get with a pair of dreamers like us. Lets just say, if we were zombies, we would have eaten each others heart by now.

But this isn't about V day gifts and such, we must get back to the task on hand. I stayed true to my word and began playing with the music. Below is Session 2.



I wanted to try out some beat patterns. With the above sample, I can cut it up and take out pieces of sound I want to mix. I have found that the Kaossilator is great for making sounds but hard to recreate beats. I was testing it out and put together a good sound. I then hit record on Sound Forge and tried to recreate it. It was a bit difficult because you are simply hitting a black pad. Trying to clone something you liked put me a bit on edge. At least with instruments you can go back to the same keys or strings to make the sound you want to hear. With the Kaossilator you have to create with an internal beat.
Despite that draw back, I can still harvest samples from my recordings. Its almost like I am filling a bucket with sea shells and then taking out the shells I really like.

After playing around for a bit, NovaBelle and I sat down with her piano keyboard. She began my lessons and I was having a fantastic time. She showed me a few simple patterns but I was having a grand time. After a while I had to just sit there and play so I could get a better feel for the keys. I may have to devote more time into it. Why, you may ask? Because I really like it.

This dreamer cannot stop.

~Julian
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Twilight is Gay

Not much to report on the home front. The above picture is exactly how I feel about Twilight.

Happy V Day!

~Julian
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Working It Out

The bizarre week has taken it's toll and frankly I am tried of it. So let's get back to the music.

As you all know, I bought a Kaossilator. I hooked it up to the computer and went to town on it for a few hours on Sunday. Like anything new, I practiced and tried out a few things. As I played, I soon realized that like anything, I would need a Hell of a lot of practice. I think many people think when they get something, it will be easy and they can just create. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Here is a clip from my first session.



Terrible, right? Well what did you expect from my first time out, a symphony? All jokes aside, I will need more practice and I will post clips of my sessions and you can tell me if I am getting better or worse. The cool thing about recording the sessions is that I can take them apart in SoundForge and find usable samples so I can still mix them into my music. This will create the unique sound I am trying to achieve.

Like everything, it will be work. But it is work I am looking forward to. I have talked to NovaBelle and she will also begin teaching me piano. I will try to get some clips of that in the near future. I will not be spending my life doing all of this but I must dedicate at least 30 minutes to an hour a week to the piano and 2 hours a week to my music. I know it will be tough but I wont run.

I just have to work it all out.

~Julian
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Kaos, Cold and Blue Screen of Death!

Saturday was a very cold day. I mean, so cold I felt it down to my bones and thought maybe leaving home was a bad idea. But I would not be persuaded.

NovaBella and I left for midtown on this cold, cold day. Our intention was to eat out, hang, buy a Kasossilator and have a few drinks toward evening time. We had fully planned on meeting all out mission objectives and end the evening returning home, drunk and laughing. Nature was having none of this.

Long story short, We had a late lunch and started to walk to Sam Ash around 49th street. The cold was seeping into us, We started to shiver. I tried mind over body and calmed myself down but that only lasted a short while. (I love mind over body stuff. I will need to talk about it in the future.)

Once we reached our destination, I was in one of Heaven's music rooms. Everything turned into a whirlwind of playing with keyboards, asking questions, making synthesizer robot voices and making it to the object of my recent affection.



Happy Happy Joy Joy feelings took over. We left Sam Ash and walked one block. We gave each other the 'look' and decided we needed to go home. I know in some places that 11 degrees is not cold, but for this guy and his gal, its the arctic.

At home, part of the evening was spent playing with my new toy and having fun. I was sad when we left to go out and play poker with friends.

Sunday came and I woke with music in my heart and ideas in my brain. I sat at my computer ready to create new masterpieces. I had to shut down my computer and restart it because it was acting slow. It was in the middle of an update when the power flickered.

Yes......The dreaded blue screen of death had struck my computer. I thought all hope was lost.

Everyone, listen to me, back up your data! I had not done that and for a moment I thought I lost everything. After a frantic phone call to a friend of mine, he talked me through the steps to retrieve my information. I was saved by the skin of my teeth but spent my Sunday instead of creating music but trying to piece my shattered computer life back together.

I do not leave you with music this fine evening, merely a tale of caution. Back up your data.

Once I am back to full strength, the music shall keep coming. Now I need to get to back to work.

~Julian
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